lightconductor: (oh)
[personal profile] lightconductor
Alcohol had better uses than the one Watson was putting this bottle of whiskey to. Living in this place was akin to living on a war front, but with more waiting and less action, and alcohol of any sort could be a useful antiseptic in an emergency -- although admittedly a grievous waste of good drink.

He'd been hoarding this bottle for a while, waiting for a good occassion to break it open, but today... well, it hadn't been a good day. He didn't understand this place, and he hated the waiting and the uselessness, and he missed Holmes. Good God, did he ever miss Holmes. He felt broken and useless and half a man without him, and he would have given his own right arm to have him back. The grief had been enough, too much, and he needed the numbing of alcohol, the gentle buzz of chemicals to quiet the agony of his mind, and he'd poured himself a drink.

Watson savoured the burn of the alcohol, and he leaned back in his chair staring at the ceiling, lost in memory. At first he found himself humming, and then outright singing, for no reason except that he'd been thinking of a violin and suddenly couldn't stand the silence. He couldn't play an instrument to save his life, but he could carry a tune, and with the unselfconciousness that came of being slightly intoxicated, Watson belted out Gilbert and Sullivan in the direction of the ceiling.

Date: 2012-09-08 10:34 pm (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:) :| hmMMMMmmMMmm)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Bruce is... adjusting. It helps -- Phil and Clint help, even if that whole thing's a mess he's still trying to figure out. What's important is that they're there for each other, and even if there's a Tony-shaped hole in Bruce's life that he isn't sure would ever be able to be filled by someone else, he's not alone. His room, though. He'd only just moved, and his head was full of the upgrades Tony was going to put in it, and... Now the space just feels so big; it's nice when Phil and Clint crash, but he likes to give them time to themselves, too, and so Bruce is alone here often enough to find the space empty.

His new neighbor is nice. Bruce feels bad that he's had to give the guy a few primers on the advancement of medicine over the past hundred years, and he knows it must be hard trying to do what he does, knowing that there are other doctors, by definition, more qualified for the job. He's a nice guy too, and Bruce sympathizes with the out-of-place feeling that, he assumes anyway, comes from being ripped into the future. He's gleaned as much from Steve.

The singing catches his attention, and he pauses at the door, taking the sight in. Looks like an evening of bitterly trying to raise his spirits. In other words, looks familiar, and the sadness Bruce feels over not having Tony? Yeah, doesn't hold a candle to how pissed he is that Tony was ripped away from him. Bitter drinking? Hell, yes.

He knocks on the door frame, half standing in Watson's room.

"They say drinking alone's a bad sign. I can belt a few numbers, if you want to make this a duet."

Date: 2012-09-08 11:47 pm (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:) d: cheers)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
He steps into the room, glad that Watson took him up on his offer. As much as he enjoys Phil and Clint and Kenzi, it might be nice to talk to someone who wasn't involved... who wasn't here for... Bruce can't run very far, here, from the memories and everything, but he can at least pretend with someone who doesn't bring anything unwanted back up.

Being called Banner, though. That one... Of course, not only Tony did that. He just can't help but think of him whenever he hears it.

"I don't drink much of anything." He picks up the glass and heads over, pouring himself some whiskey, before he sits on the bed across from him.

"So when I do, I'm not too picky." He grins and holds his glass up for a toast. "To miserable company, then." His lips twitch with dark amusement.

Date: 2012-09-09 03:55 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:\ oh wow i am so impressed)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Bruce didn't even think about it. Maybe he should have, but he's gotten so used to it here that it seems natural. He'd gotten extra chairs for his own room, though, and he'll still need them. Hell, he'll even need to rearrange the eating space a little, to make sure there's enough room for Phil and Clint, if they wind up eating in Bruce's room ever. It's weird, moving on from Tony; he still has the ideas of Blue in his room, the set up Tony had described. He doesn't want to move on from him, but when does Bruce get what he wants? When does he get to keep it?

Right, the bitterness... He hadn't wanted to dwell on that.

He forces his smile tighter and takes a drink too, getting comfortable on Watson's bed, hunching over his lap.

"It's not the place's fault. Don't get me wrong, this place does shitty things, but compared to back home?" He shrugs. He wouldn't have gotten with Tony back home, probably. Phil wouldn't be around back home. Clint would be dead if this place didn't work the way it did. Tony never would have come back, even if that hadn't lasted long. This place has given and taken as much from him as home did.

"No, it's just life that I hate sometimes." He pauses, the glass almost at his lips. "Most of the time." He takes another drink.

Date: 2012-09-09 06:22 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:O D: look at this)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Oh... Oh. Watson wants to talk about loss.

Bruce just laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, I've been in love. Am in love, actually, not that it matters very much because he's gone now. And before that, I lost her too." Lost is a relative term; he'd had to walk away from her, to disappear from her, and that was worse. Necessary, but worse, because he was able to look back the whole time. She got to move forward.

"Do you know want to know why I was in India, John? Because I'd lost everything. My home, my girl, my job, my... self." He laughs again, a hard sound, and rubs a hand over his eyes. "But I couldn't even lose myself the way I wanted. I tried, but I can't..." He trails off, remembering that day with the gun, remembering waking up hours later naked and miles away from where he had been. "I can't."

He shrugs, and his eyes are bright with pain and anger, his smile a little twisted.

"Nothing good lasts. You're absolutely right on that one."

Date: 2012-09-09 06:53 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:) d: cheers)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Watson doesn't really understand the importance of Bruce losing himself, what would have happened to him if he hadn't, but he won't get into it; it's not an easy thing to casually drop into conversation, being a monster on the run, so he'll hold that one back. Losing things to chance? Falling in love with a genius eccentric who gave you the danger and adventure you needed to feel alive after so long of feeling empty?

Yeah. Sounds familiar.

"You and me both, pal. Mine died next to me. Right in front of me." He shrugs. "Of course, I was a teenager and dying at the time, but I watched him bleed out and then he was gone. And then he was back and then this place took him away. So pour us another one, John. We'll be here all night if we're going to swap scars; we'll need it."

Date: 2012-09-09 07:13 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:( i know i tried)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
The way Tony died was a mess. Unavoidable, maybe, but Bruce feels messily guilty about it all; that whole period of time is a confusing haze because of his own sickness and then the Hulk, and then his grief. He's buried a lot of it, that time laying miserably next to Tony, barely able to breathe, gearing up to slowly drown on the fluid in his lungs while Tony was starting to bleed to death beside him. Tony had maybe said some important things then, but Bruce prefers to remember the other times he'd said them, that Bruce was important, that Tony saw something in him, because he'd said it more than once. That he'd loved him. He'd never said that one, but Bruce saw it all the same.

"I have a respectable collection." Even before the other guy, but he doesn't really want to get into his childhood trauma. He accepts the offer of more whiskey and takes another drink before leaning back on his hand on the bed.

"How'd Holmes die?" he asks, softer too, some of the bitterness drained from his eyes.

Date: 2012-09-09 07:30 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:( :| sad side eye)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
"Hey, it's not Switzerland's fault." But it wasn't his old room's fault that Tony had died, and look where he is not.

That story is definitely crazy though, and if he hadn't been involved in the Avengers, he might think it sounded like something out of a movie rather than the kind of thing that happens in real life. Evil masterminds taking out their mortal enemies with traps and chases across the countryside; it sounds too fictional to be real, but what it sounds like doesn't stop the hurt. He shakes his head, looking down into his glass before he turns sympathetic eyes up to Watson.

"I'm sorry. That sounds awful."

Date: 2012-09-10 01:58 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:( :S sad professor jacket)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Bruce knows the pain of a secret, but usually it's the secret getting out that causes him distress. That grieving process must have been especially difficult, and he frowns as Watson gets into it.

"I'm sorry." He's already said it, but this time he feels more of it, putting his own bitterness aside. "How long ago was this, before you came here?"

Date: 2012-09-10 04:36 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:| talking)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
"No, no, it's fine." Being reminded of his little display just now is slightly embarrassing; Watson's clearly hurting too, and he should respect that, but frankly Bruce respects so much. He doesn't really begrudge himself a good venting, not when he's in the mood for one.

"Believe me, I know how important it is to let off a little steam now and then." He smiles, and it's twisted up with some bitterness and self-deprecation, but at least it sits more comfortably with him -- it's his normal levels of bitterness.

"Between the things this place throws at us, yeah, the in betweens can feel extra slow. You can try to fill your time with the people, but..." Well, then they can disappear too, can't they? He shakes his head. "But they do make it more bearable. If I didn't have Phil and Clint right now, I'd be more than a little lost."

Date: 2012-09-10 05:16 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:) :| little smile)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
He hadn't meant to flaunt anything; he'd just been making conversation and... crap. He winces at Watson's tone, face apologetic, and then he nods; he rubs his thumb along the ridge of his glass, trying to think of how to explain what he, Phil, and Clint are to a Victorian guy used to homophobia. He doesn't seem too put off by the idea, though, and... more power to him, on that. Bruce is new to the whole thing himself.

"Yeah, that's... Yeah." He comes up nodding. "They were together, and then somehow I got pulled in." It'd started when they were teenagers, really, and then it was a serious offer and then what Bruce thought was a joking offer, but which turned out to be serious. And maybe the sex is a perk -- okay, no, it is -- but it's the comfort Bruce relishes, waking up in a tangle of limbs with two people he trusts sleeping beside him, and two people who trust him to sleep beside them.

"It wasn't long after the guy I... When he disappeared." Maybe that sounds callous, but he'd needed the comfort, and he'd needed it badly. He doesn't love Tony any less. What he has for Phil and Clint is a completely different animal, warm and comforting, but a candle in comparison to the torch that was Tony Stark. Maybe that'll be true for everyone else in his life.
Edited Date: 2012-09-10 05:17 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-09-11 12:06 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (;) :) come hither o rly)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
He laughs, surprised by the request, and he shakes his head. Loki comes to mind, actually, but he's not sure that he should really set someone up on a blind date with him.

"Well, that depends on what you're looking for, John." His eyes flick up to the ceiling as he flicks through a list of who's even still here anymore. Ianto, maybe? "I don't think you'd have a hard time, though. You're a good looking guy. You can really rock that moustache."

He smiles at Watson, really taking him in. Okay, so he's thought he's handsome before, and Bruce enjoys his company; he's just gotten so accustomed to not thinking about people in that way that he needs a nudge before he really gets to that point. Phil and Clint are wonderful; Loki, too, brings his own brand of distraction, but Watson is someone entirely new. Entirely untouched by what's gone on. What had Bruce thought about running away?

But wow -- he's really making up for lost time, isn't he?

"This place isn't short on people looking for comfort where they can get it."

Date: 2012-09-11 06:20 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (;) :) come hither o rly)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
He laughs, first at the moustache bit and then at the women and men across nations and continents, and Bruce really looks at Watson. Clearly Bruce had been too quick to make an assumption about him, and that so isn't like him, really; oh, he makes assumptions about how likely people are to hate him or chase him down, but usually he can peg when someone's hiding something just beneath the surface. He just hadn't really looked that hard at Watson, but now? Now he totally sees it, lurking around in that adorably handsome face of his.

The monogamy thing takes some of the light out of Bruce's eyes. But only for a second. He's glad Tony managed to wean him off of that before this place took him away, isn't he? Otherwise he wouldn't be able to have the comfort he does.

"Polyamory's the best way to play the love lotto here," he says dryly, his eyes still on Watson, still evaluating. "Statistically, you're far less likely to wind up alone that way. And it's nice to have a bed or two to fall into when you need it."

Date: 2012-09-11 06:56 am (UTC)
greenisnteasy: (:| ;) accidentally sexy)
From: [personal profile] greenisnteasy
Bruce wouldn't say he's a confident guy. Being pushed and forced into not caring what anyone else thinks about you because usually they never think anything very good seems like a poor man's confidence to him because as soon as he does care what they think, he falters. He doesn't actually know, either, what Watson would want, if Bruce might be on the table.

And Jesus Christ, Banner. You're sleeping with three people; that's not enough? As soon as he asks himself he knows the answer is no because he isn't looking for sex; he's looking for Tony. He should really stop using other people to fill that hole, but it's not like he doesn't appreciate them either, and it's not like they're madly in love with him. This really probably isn't okay, but honestly, Bruce doesn't have a lot of vices he can turn to.

Tragically flirting isn't really his thing; he's good at sass, which sometimes is like flirting.

"You probably wouldn't have to try very hard." His eyes are on Watson when he says it, an eyebrow half raised. He's all but offering himself up, here.

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