Dr. John H. Watson, M.D. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lightconductor) wrote2009-12-01 07:48 am
lightconductor) wrote2009-12-01 07:48 am
Entry tags:
He has been maligned, and I must spring to his rescue.
This morning, while I rolled around in bed going, auuuugh I do not want to get up, on comes the radio with the following statement:
"And elementary, my dear Hollywood! In the next half hour, our CBC comedy team takes on the new Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movie."
:O?
I waited.
The sketch itself involved filmmakers meeting with Mrs. Wakefield, "the world's foremost expert on Sherlock Holmes," and discussing with her their plans while she sputtered in dismay. Holmes, they say, will be an ass-kicking, drug-downing, sexy hero who gets all the ladies, and solves crime with his fist of justice!
(Okay, even if I take off my Evil Slasher Hat, what the hell is Holmes going to do with all those ladies, I ask you. Also, lol @ fist of justice.)
Mrs. Wakefield sputters out her vague protestations to the contrary. Yes, Holmes is a competent fighter, skilled in fencing and the Japanese art of baritsu (she left out the boxing), but that's not how he solves crimes! And the drug use is very controversial, but that doesn't mean... and the ladies? Really???
(Incidentally, everything I've seen about this movie suggests that they've replaced the cocaine with alcohol. This is... not promising. The two are not interchangeable, especially if you look at the reasons why Holmes might be taking cocaine in the first place.)
And they go on to describe Watson, his ruggedly sexy, equally ass-kicking sidekick, getting all the ladies also (geez guys, leave some for the rest of us)!
But no, sputters Mrs. Wakefield, Watson is rotund and shy.
What?
WHAT?
DO YOU DARE TO MALIGN HIM? Fuck you, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Shy, yes. Or at least, less shy and more reserved. There's a distinct difference. No, he's not about to go partake in naked rugby without some very good convincing, but... shy?
"In an experience of women which extends over many nations and three separate continents, I have never looked upon a face which gave a clearer promise of a refined and sensitive nature. - The Sign of the Four
Because he is a ladies's man, at least to a certain extent. Holmes comments several times to the effect of "the fair sex is your department," and somewhere in there is also a comment to the effect that he's not ill-favoured with women. When you consider that he is reserved and modest, how do you take that?
There are three bits in canon where Watson gives some description of himself, and in each case he's only quoting someone else.
"Whatever have you been doing with yourself, Watson?" he asked in undisguised wonder, as we rattled through the crowded London streets. "You are as thin as a lath and as brown as a nut." - Study in Scarlet.
Thin and tanned. Mind you, he's been very sick, and nearly died a few times in the last several months, and he's still recovering. Not your typical picture of Watson, though.
"Wedlock suits you," he remarked. "I think, Watson, that you have put on seven and a half pounds since I saw you."
"Seven!" I answered.
"Indeed, I should have thought a little more. Just a trifle more, I fancy, Watson. - Scandal in Bohemia
Okay, so he's put on a little weight. What's seven pounds? Considering how ghastly thin he was a few years before, I'm not about to fault him, especially since the extra weight "suits" him.
"How are you, Watson?" said he, cordially. "I should never have known you under that moustache." - The Naval Treaty
He... has a moustache! Well, I'm shocked. I mean, it's not like any other man in the military at that point in time had a moustache. Bizarre.
"Criminals!" said Holmes. "Plural!"
"Yes, there were two of them. They were, as nearly as possible, captured red-handed. We have their foot-marks, we have their description; it's ten to one that we trace them. The first fellow was a bit too active, but the second was caught by the under-gardener and only got away after a struggle. He was a middle-sized, strongly-built man -- square jaw, thick neck, moustache, a mask over his eyes."
"That's rather vague," said Sherlock Holmes. "Why, it might be a description of Watson!"
"It's true," said the inspector, with much amusement. "It might be a description of Watson." - Charles Augustus Milverton
That's because it is a description of Watson, Lestrade just doesn't know it. This is Holmes and Watson at the peak of the post-hiatus years (after 1894), and Watson is "middle-sized." Not thin, not fat, just... average.
(There's also a description in His Last Bow, but that story is told in the third person, and you don't know it's Watson at that point, since he's playing chauffeur for Holmes's alias, and it isn't any more detailed than "oh, some heavily-built old guy with a grey moustache, sitting behind the wheel of the little Ford parked outside the house" anyway. Because he's past sixty at that point, and if he's gained some weight in his old age... well, honestly. You're not going to fault him for that? Holmes has been retired for ten years, and we can only imagine Watson's doing a lot less running around in general.)
But is that rotund? Even remotely? THIS IS THE CANON. This is everything that we are given to describe Watson! Where on earth do you get rotund from that? That he is rotund is a thing that comes from the movies, from portrayals that turn him into a clownish, oafish sidekick rather than the competent assistant/partner that he is. He is the glue. He is audience stand-in and he who is tasked with keeping Holmes semi-functional and making sure he remembers to eat and sleep.
No, this movie is not going to be like many other portrayals of Holmes. You know what? A lot of those portrayals are shit from a canonical point of view, especially where Watson's concerned. I'm not convinced that this movie won't be shit, either, but at least they've got a decent Watson.
Jesus Christ. Go read the books without those preconcieved notions; you won't see them. Hell, go watch some Jeremy Brett, and tell me that either David Burke or Edward Hardwicke as Watson are "shy" and "rotund."
"And elementary, my dear Hollywood! In the next half hour, our CBC comedy team takes on the new Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movie."
:O?
I waited.
The sketch itself involved filmmakers meeting with Mrs. Wakefield, "the world's foremost expert on Sherlock Holmes," and discussing with her their plans while she sputtered in dismay. Holmes, they say, will be an ass-kicking, drug-downing, sexy hero who gets all the ladies, and solves crime with his fist of justice!
(Okay, even if I take off my Evil Slasher Hat, what the hell is Holmes going to do with all those ladies, I ask you. Also, lol @ fist of justice.)
Mrs. Wakefield sputters out her vague protestations to the contrary. Yes, Holmes is a competent fighter, skilled in fencing and the Japanese art of baritsu (she left out the boxing), but that's not how he solves crimes! And the drug use is very controversial, but that doesn't mean... and the ladies? Really???
(Incidentally, everything I've seen about this movie suggests that they've replaced the cocaine with alcohol. This is... not promising. The two are not interchangeable, especially if you look at the reasons why Holmes might be taking cocaine in the first place.)
And they go on to describe Watson, his ruggedly sexy, equally ass-kicking sidekick, getting all the ladies also (geez guys, leave some for the rest of us)!
But no, sputters Mrs. Wakefield, Watson is rotund and shy.
What?
WHAT?
DO YOU DARE TO MALIGN HIM? Fuck you, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Shy, yes. Or at least, less shy and more reserved. There's a distinct difference. No, he's not about to go partake in naked rugby without some very good convincing, but... shy?
"In an experience of women which extends over many nations and three separate continents, I have never looked upon a face which gave a clearer promise of a refined and sensitive nature. - The Sign of the Four
Because he is a ladies's man, at least to a certain extent. Holmes comments several times to the effect of "the fair sex is your department," and somewhere in there is also a comment to the effect that he's not ill-favoured with women. When you consider that he is reserved and modest, how do you take that?
There are three bits in canon where Watson gives some description of himself, and in each case he's only quoting someone else.
"Whatever have you been doing with yourself, Watson?" he asked in undisguised wonder, as we rattled through the crowded London streets. "You are as thin as a lath and as brown as a nut." - Study in Scarlet.
Thin and tanned. Mind you, he's been very sick, and nearly died a few times in the last several months, and he's still recovering. Not your typical picture of Watson, though.
"Wedlock suits you," he remarked. "I think, Watson, that you have put on seven and a half pounds since I saw you."
"Seven!" I answered.
"Indeed, I should have thought a little more. Just a trifle more, I fancy, Watson. - Scandal in Bohemia
Okay, so he's put on a little weight. What's seven pounds? Considering how ghastly thin he was a few years before, I'm not about to fault him, especially since the extra weight "suits" him.
"How are you, Watson?" said he, cordially. "I should never have known you under that moustache." - The Naval Treaty
He... has a moustache! Well, I'm shocked. I mean, it's not like any other man in the military at that point in time had a moustache. Bizarre.
"Criminals!" said Holmes. "Plural!"
"Yes, there were two of them. They were, as nearly as possible, captured red-handed. We have their foot-marks, we have their description; it's ten to one that we trace them. The first fellow was a bit too active, but the second was caught by the under-gardener and only got away after a struggle. He was a middle-sized, strongly-built man -- square jaw, thick neck, moustache, a mask over his eyes."
"That's rather vague," said Sherlock Holmes. "Why, it might be a description of Watson!"
"It's true," said the inspector, with much amusement. "It might be a description of Watson." - Charles Augustus Milverton
That's because it is a description of Watson, Lestrade just doesn't know it. This is Holmes and Watson at the peak of the post-hiatus years (after 1894), and Watson is "middle-sized." Not thin, not fat, just... average.
(There's also a description in His Last Bow, but that story is told in the third person, and you don't know it's Watson at that point, since he's playing chauffeur for Holmes's alias, and it isn't any more detailed than "oh, some heavily-built old guy with a grey moustache, sitting behind the wheel of the little Ford parked outside the house" anyway. Because he's past sixty at that point, and if he's gained some weight in his old age... well, honestly. You're not going to fault him for that? Holmes has been retired for ten years, and we can only imagine Watson's doing a lot less running around in general.)
But is that rotund? Even remotely? THIS IS THE CANON. This is everything that we are given to describe Watson! Where on earth do you get rotund from that? That he is rotund is a thing that comes from the movies, from portrayals that turn him into a clownish, oafish sidekick rather than the competent assistant/partner that he is. He is the glue. He is audience stand-in and he who is tasked with keeping Holmes semi-functional and making sure he remembers to eat and sleep.
No, this movie is not going to be like many other portrayals of Holmes. You know what? A lot of those portrayals are shit from a canonical point of view, especially where Watson's concerned. I'm not convinced that this movie won't be shit, either, but at least they've got a decent Watson.
Jesus Christ. Go read the books without those preconcieved notions; you won't see them. Hell, go watch some Jeremy Brett, and tell me that either David Burke or Edward Hardwicke as Watson are "shy" and "rotund."