An excerpt

Feb. 15th, 2011 07:36 am
lightconductor: (is it a clue?)
This is something I wrote a little while ago, or part of something I wrote a little while ago, for my secret never-linked-to-anyone blog. It has relevance here. Most of the intensely personal part that makes it never-linked-to-anyone is excised. That is a good word, by the way.

(Sorry, Rachelle, for writing essays on the behaviour of Sherlock Holmes behind your back.)

tl;dr )
lightconductor: (big smile)
Nothing to add, except that I just discovered this and spent some time laughing and rocking out. Enjoy!

lightconductor: (is it a clue?)
A while ago, Rachelle did this and made up backstory for Holmes to replace the almost nothing that Doyle gave us. And I've been sort of jealous of this, bizarrely, because while yes, I've been playing Watson for like two years without doing something similar, Watson gets even less backstory than Holmes does.

This is what's canon for Watson's background:

1. His father's name seemed to have been H. Watson. No idea what the H stood for.
2. He had an older brother, who was probably also an H. Watson, who inherited an extremely expensive watch from their father, but treated it like shit and pawned it several times and eventually drank himself to death by about 1888, looks like.
3. He played rugby for the Blackheath Football Club as a young man. Incidentally, I love so much that Watson gets mentioned on the wikipedia entry, there. There is no real reason for it.
4. He seems to have lived in Ballarat, Australia at some point, and probably during the Victoria gold rush (which began in earnest in 1851 and stretched out through the 1860s) because he mentions the gold fields specifically.
5. He claims to have an experience of women spanning many nations and three continents.

He's most informative in the very first paragraph of A Study in Scarlet, in which he also informs us that:

6. He attended the University of London and graduated in 1878.
7. He joined the army, and served in India and Afghanistan, assistant surgeon for this regiment and this regiment.
8. He got shot at the Battle of Maiwand and nearly died and then got better and then got typhoid and nearly died again and then he got sent back to England, where, as of 1881, he had "neither kith nor kin" and also pretty much no money to speak of, despite coming from a family that has fifty guinea watches to be inherited. In fact, Watson's military history is highly based upon the military history of the actual surgeon-major of the 66th Foot, who was shot at Maiwand and invalided out of the army.

That is... more or less all I have been working with for the last two years. Almost nothing is known about Watson's life before he got his medical degree, and what there is has no order to it. We don't know what his family was like (presumably there was money at some point), we don't know how much of his youth he spent in Australia and how much in England and at what point or why he might have made the move. We don't know which three continents. Europe's a given, as is Asia. Does Australia count? If he was only a boy when he lived there, can he really be said to have had much experience of women at all while he was there?

For a while I've been dodging around a lot of this stuff, but sometimes... what actually happened would really make a difference to how Watson might feel about something.

Today, I'm going on an adventure to make a lot of shit up. )

There. That was... enjoyable, if a slightly silly exercise.
lightconductor: (Default)

I am a dork.

That is all.
lightconductor: (Default)
In the first place, one of my very favourite adaptations of Sherlock Holmes is a series of BBC radio plays starring Clive Merrison as Holmes and Michael Williams as Watson. There's also a series of non-canonical pastiches made after Michael Williams's death where Watson is played by Andrew Sachs. If you know Fawlty Towers at all, yes that Andrew Sachs. He's pretty good too. The plays are very clearly a labour of love, occasionally gently poking fun at the canon. Holmes is acerbic and impatient and brilliant, Watson is intelligent and capable, and the two of them have a wonderful chemistry and sense of banter. I adore these. A lot.

The series also has some of the most bizarre slashy moments ever. Mary Watson makes two references to her husband being totally in love with Sherlock Holmes, once accusing Watson of marrying her under false pretenses because obviously his heart really belongs to Holmes, not her, and once on her death bed (it's strongly implied in these that she dies of consumption/tuberculosis, actually) where she bemoans the unfair deaths of herself and Holmes as "everyone you've ever loved, John." There's also a shared drug-fueled nearly-fatal hallucination which is represented on radio by Holmes and Watson chanting together the English translation of some Wagner that Holmes was quoting at Watson earlier: "Let us die, and never part, together for the rest of time."

Today, I relistened to The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier. )

Watson could do so much better. :(
lightconductor: (let me tell you this)
Long ago, I mentioned this guy?

He's apparently going to speak at my favourite local bookstore on May 25th.

I'm wondering if it would be completely inappropriate to sit in the back and heckle.

"Hey! Hey, you remember that really stupid illogical Sherlock Holmes pastiche you wrote like fifteen years ago? The one where Watson broke the universe by writing The Final Problem? Yeah, it sucked. A lot. It made no sense and was a shitty treatment of the characters in general. Also, the beginning of Hominids is possibly the worst, most offensive treatment of rape in fiction that I have ever seen, you stupid fuck."

On the other hand, all the staff knows me down there. I'd hate to alienate them, as they are nice people.
lightconductor: (amused)
It occurred to Rachelle and I that in this thread, particularly from about here onward, that, uh... very few people would realise just how dorky we were being.

And how dorky Holmes and Watson were being.

So, here. Their dialogue above, and to compare with the text from Study in Scarlet... )
lightconductor: (o rly)
Nearly everyone, friends and family alike, has asked me the same question as regards the Sherlock Holmes movie, after the initial "did you like it?"

That question is: "What did you think of Jude Law?"

I get this question particularly from people who have no idea I roleplay as Watson online, too. It's very weird.

However, my mother did not ask me this.

My mother asked me if it was really full of gay subtext.

Oh, mom. <3
lightconductor: (cheer)
So, in case anyone was wondering.

By some bizarre fluke, this is pretty much exactly the right size for iPod touch wallpaper.

It makes me smile.

Even with the imminent death.

It also looks insanely classy.
lightconductor: (Default)
I have just returned from seeing Sherlock Holmes.

Several people have expressed an interest in knowing my thoughts on this movie. Apparently I'm an authority or something? Ah well.

A few spoilers. )
lightconductor: (amused)
This is an oddball little story. It involes Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. It's not pastiche, it's not fanfiction, as it was written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Except it is sort of considered to be pastiche, because it's not considered to be canon.

How Watson Learned The Trick.

Never let it be said I'm above a little mockery on my characters' behalf.
lightconductor: (Default)
My younger sister was here the other day, and she desired a google image search for "Doctor Watson." Uh, because. No idea. I humoured her.

Anyway, we got some Sidney Paget illustrations, approximately a thousand picture of Jude Law, one picture of Jeremy Brett and Edward Harwicke (honestly, that's it?), and someone's pictures of their wargaming miniatures, themed around the exploration of Africa.

Which I thought was kind of cool.

Here are some spear-wielding natives, here are some lions, here are some pith-helmeted explorers. That sort of thing.

And then there is Dr. Watson.

I can tell you, I'm honestly not entirely sure what Watson's doing exploring Africa, or why he's a part of this set. I could get into this whole canon-debate about the likelihood that he's even been to Africa, except a lot of the argument comes down to 'does Australia count as a continent,' and I admit it's likely he would have been, if at least just en route to India. That's hardly 'exploration.'

But look at him. He's here to kick ass and take names. And his gun is bigger than his head.

I love it.
lightconductor: (amused)
Here is a movie I stumbled across some time ago, and found again this morning. And it's still funny.

It's in Russian, but with subtitles.

Sherlock Holmes & Doctor Watson (in two parts) )
lightconductor: (Default)
This morning, while I rolled around in bed going, auuuugh I do not want to get up, on comes the radio with the following statement:

"And elementary, my dear Hollywood! In the next half hour, our CBC comedy team takes on the new Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movie."


I waited.

The sketch itself involved filmmakers meeting with Mrs. Wakefield, "the world's foremost expert on Sherlock Holmes," and discussing with her their plans while she sputtered in dismay. Holmes, they say, will be an ass-kicking, drug-downing, sexy hero who gets all the ladies, and solves crime with his fist of justice!

(Okay, even if I take off my Evil Slasher Hat, what the hell is Holmes going to do with all those ladies, I ask you. Also, lol @ fist of justice.)

Mrs. Wakefield sputters out her vague protestations to the contrary. Yes, Holmes is a competent fighter, skilled in fencing and the Japanese art of baritsu (she left out the boxing), but that's not how he solves crimes! And the drug use is very controversial, but that doesn't mean... and the ladies? Really???

(Incidentally, everything I've seen about this movie suggests that they've replaced the cocaine with alcohol. This is... not promising. The two are not interchangeable, especially if you look at the reasons why Holmes might be taking cocaine in the first place.)

And they go on to describe Watson, his ruggedly sexy, equally ass-kicking sidekick, getting all the ladies also (geez guys, leave some for the rest of us)!

But no, sputters Mrs. Wakefield, Watson is rotund and shy.



DO YOU DARE TO MALIGN HIM? Fuck you, you have no idea what you're talking about. )
lightconductor: (wtf)
I am not getting very many hours this week. The weather is too much crap. Oh well. I'll survive, but I'm bored. So instead, I'll pointlessly share things I'm reading. )
lightconductor: (big smile)
My roommate, or one of them, has been in Europe for the past few weeks. She's returned today, and while I haven't spoken to her yet (probably very jetlagged), she has, however, left stuff all over my desk.

Like so.

So. Um. Guess where she went?

Also, guess who's a big dork, and whose roommates know it?


lightconductor: (Default)

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