IC Inbox

[lightconductor]

If you have a message for me, Dr. John Watson, please leave it here. I shall certainly get back to you as soon as I can.
- JW

Comments

[mooninthewater]

um
so, im… kind of a jealous person myself
but i told them its something im working on
i just need them to, u know, communicate with me about stuff
and, i dont know if this is my fault or not because
i guess i never really specified when i told one of them that he could pursue other people
that i wanted to be… told in advance?
…
rambling again, sry
is it bad if im upset that one of them slept with someone else w/out telling me?
should i not be?

[lightconductor]

The response takes a while, because he's still trying to work a lot of this out himself.

Sometimes we don't know how we will react until the moment. If he had told you, would you still be upset? What's happened cannot be changed, but you can talk about what should happen next time, if you want there to be a next time. JW

A brief pause.

Do you want there to be a next time? JW

[mooninthewater]

i do
i do, i do, ofc i do.
i love him
i want to believe this is just a mistake
but i also want to let him really know that that wasnt okay
but i dont know how to do that without upsetting him or… making him feel like im suddenly taking away that agreement we have that he can pursue others
because that's not what this is, but
im not very good with words, so…

[lightconductor]

Another long pause. Please imagine him frowning at his phone, because when did he become an authority on relationships.

Whenever I have had disagreements with lovers, I find it helps to both explain and let them explain in turn, without assigning blame. If he did not act out of malice, then do not be angry, but calm. Suggest a solution. "I did not realise this would hurt me, in future please tell me first," perhaps, but in your own words. Between two people, many compromises must be made, but am finding that even more concessions are needed when multiple people involved. JW

[mooninthewater]

mmm
the thing i dont understand is that
he came to me to tell me
and was very guilty about it
in such a way that makes me believe he knew what he did wasnt ok?
…
would i still address that the same way?

[lightconductor]

I would, though you know him better than I. If nothing else, it may make it easier for you to explain. If you want to go forward, you must forgive him. JW.

[mooninthewater]

ok.
thank u, dr. watson
sincerely, i know we havent talked all that much
(and the few times we did were under stressful pretenses)
…
(i guess this also counts as a stressful pretense)
if theres anything u need help w/, feel free to ask me, ok?
its the very least i can do for helping me w/ venti

[lightconductor]

Venti. It was Venti all along. Oh that explains. A lot.

Any time I can help, Mizuki, just ask. JW